Waking Sorrows

Something I wrote a long time ago....




It's 2am and i can't sleep. 

I am lying here thinking about my life, the people i've hurt, those who've hurt me and others am yet to hurt even more. 

Make no mistake, i have control over every action i take, every choice i make. Yet sometimes i feel as though it is all beyond my control.

It hurts when i look into the eyes of people i've disappointed, people who love me so much, they are willing to forgive mistake after mistake and over look failure after failure.

when I look at those who have hurt me, i imagine the worst possible ways to hurt them back, for mine is an unforgiving heart. 

The misery of all my faults weigh me down with such force that, i have dug a pit in the deepest part of me and cast it all down. 

In its place i have woven for my self,a fabric of lies that sum up my world,so that when i look at world around me, i am not shamed by what I've become. 

I am faithless;i know there is a God, i know there is a devil. I just don't believe in them too much. 

I am doomed; for i feel I've already committed the blunder of my life 5 times.

I know second chances do not come often yet i pray with all my heart for one. Pray with me, and by the end of the year we'll know if i've been given a new slate.

                                                                                                                                                  FBNDP